We are sold a bill of goods that says that an Amazing Human Experience is all about getting everything we desire. We have dreams and those dreams are meant to come true.
And if we don’t have everything…if we haven’t manifested it…we are doing something wrong.
I bought into that. For a long fucking time.
I lived in shame for years and years because I wanted things that I did not have.
I figured I must be doing something wrong.
But I couldn’t figure out what was wrong.
So I must be wrong, as a person. As a being.
I figured, that at my core, something was broken because I wanted things that I did not have. I waited and waited.
I tried everything, everything, everything.
I got nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
I hid my desires and dreams. Deep in the well. Because I did not want to be wrong. So if I didn’t desire, then I couldn’t not have my desire and I couldn’t be wrong.
I hid my Self. Because the ache of supposed brokenness was more than I wanted to bear.
I invested in people who could said they could fix me.
There were cleanses and books and journals and classes and more.
I did everything I was supposed to. I ached. And fought. And cried.
Until I stopped. Until I took a breath. Until I refused to punish my Self any more for life not meeting the expectations that were laid out before me.
I stopped processing. I stopped hating my Self. I stopped the war that raged in my being. I stopped.
And I saw. Just how much was actually there.
The truth is that an Amazing Human Experience has nothing to do with getting what we want. (Or really, what we think we want. Because let’s be honest, so much of what we call our desires are just things that might make us feel worthy and deserving, if we actually get them…not the true calls of our being.)
An Amazing Human Experience is where we meet our Self.
Where we meet our Soul.
It’s where we hear the invitations of our Soul, whatever they are…and allow them to guide us wherever they go. It’s where we find our voice. It’s where we find our compassion. It’s where we find our connection.
An Amazing Human Experience is one where we dismantle all that is not our Truth so that we may become who we are and have always been. An amazing Human Experience is where we heal from the Roots.
It’s where we allow for pleasure to serve us. And where we serve those we adventure with, in ways that allow for all to be seen and loved as they are.
An amazing human experience is rife with unmet expectations. It has pain. It has failure. It has destruction and creation. It has space to learn. To teach. To integrate.
An amazing Human Experience may happen in big, grand ways. It may also happen in small, subtle moments of life. And it will look different with each spin of the kaleidoscope
But most of all…it’s not in some far off, far away land that you have to bleed to get to.
And it is yours for the living.